Transformational moments often come from seemingly simple questions.
Years ago I was doing a live coaching demonstration at an ICF (International Coaching Federation) event.
We asked if anyone in the audience would like to participate.
Í will’ shouted an enthusiastic person from the audience as he was running towards the stage.
He sat down and then his face dropped. ‘Oh, I don’t know! I have to go’.
In an instant, he went from enthusiastic participant to uncertain, uncomfortable and then despondent.
Firmly gripped by volunteer regret.
We had 12 minutes to:
Create a safe space for him. Trickier with 150+ people in the room watching.
Set boundaries so that he only shared publicly what he would be happy with sharing.
Obtain clarity on a tangible outcome, for him.
Provide next steps to ensure progress.
After creating a calm environment and setting some boundaries with both the volunteer and the audience. We got to work.
The first step as a coach is to get out of the way, and shift the focus to the human being in front of me, to his outcomes.
To let go of the fact that this was a live demonstration.
𝙈𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙨:
𝙏𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜.
This seemingly simple question opened up a transformative moment for him.
Showing the threads, impact, pressure and what was lost by the underpinning beliefs that had him believe he had to know.
At the end of the session, his feedback was, wow I didn’t expect this. Was that really 12 minutes? Yes, it was.
The conversation went deep in a short time.
He was able to trace back the origin of the fear of not knowing.
I did a simple, yet powerful integration visualisation to parent the younger self and release the need for this belief.
With an old belief discarded, and a new one to practice and work from, he shared that the future felt brighter.
For the audience, it blew away the myth that it takes too long to coach someone.
Leaders I work with who take the time to integrate coaching skills into their leadership tool kit understand the powerful impact of this on their leadership, individuals, groups and team performance.
Realised in the elevated productivity and project success.
If you want to learn more about how you can build this leadership-enhancing skill, drop me a DM here.